The Bride-God love Her

October 17, 2018

“The Bride is always right, even when she’s wrong.” I came from an all-girl family. 3 of us. Slumber parties, curling irons, and aqua net galore. Bless my poor sweet dad. Eventually, every single one of us got engaged. Yay! Happy season! So fun! And soon after the announcement (and screeching and jumping and excitement), my mom, wise as she was, pulled the other 2 of us girls aside and told us this afore-mentioned quote. She explained that for the next season, our sister, whom we have known and loved, would only see life from her perspective....nearly everything she’d say would hinge on pre-wedding and post-wedding descriptions. She’d be a tad self-absorbed. (Anyone been there?) Mom explained that some of the things our engaged sister said would be totally right on and some, would be down-right crazy. But our jobs, as part of the bride, were to love and support her in all of it. She’d handle the bumps with the bride. If she wanted blue peacock feathers we were to smile and nod. If she wanted a reception in a barn, (🙋‍♀️) we were to find a positive aspect of it. My mom went on to explain that if we had problems, we go to mom, for she would be the buffer, she would help perspective and try to balance the way the current bride felt with what we sisters also felt. “Just love and support the bride while I try and keep the whole plan moving forward.”

Bless my mom. That’s not an easy place to be a bride buffer. 3 times at that!

Where did that comment land me 20 years later? Thankful for the pastors in my life. 

I know, I know, that’s a big jump. Most my thought process is.

But there’s a few things I know: Jesus calls us, those believers in Him, His church, the bride. He loves us, protects us, literally fought to the death for us.
And He also knows, despite that, we aren’t perfect. Far from it actually. He says “I didn’t come for the healthy but for the sick.” (Mt. 9:12). He already knew we were a messed up group in need of saving. I am not worthy, and yet I am forgiven by Him. That’s the whole plan. The one He wants to keep moving forward with. 

And I think about how many pastors and their wives have been the “buffer” for me so many years. They hear the hard, the sad, the strange and they still choose ministry day after day, hopefully for the long haul. Through life they remind me “Just love and support the bride, while I try to keep the whole plan moving forward.”
Our pastors aren’t perfect. Neither are our churches. Jesus called us on it long ago, so it’s not a surprise. But anytime you choose a career based on improving and helping it’s gonna be tough; whether teaching, nursing, coaching, counseling, and pastors see that all too, well as death, divorce, and the ripple effect it has on families. No easy calling.
Now I pause, because this is not meant to be self-serving. Dave and I love what we get to do. Love it. In fact, it’s because we are loved and surrounded and cared for so well, that I can even write this. So I promise I’m not reaching for accolades. But I do believe in encouragement, and so many of you in our lives are part of churches or know pastors/leaders/spouses who could stand for a big dose of genuine authentic thank you. So while we are in the middle of Pastors Appreciation Month, reach out to the ones who have encouraged you, helped you, been the buffer during a hard season. I promise they will be words that won’t go unnoticed.
If you’ve ever been hurt by the church, I’m so sorry. Please know it’s not the plan. It’s never been the plan, and I hope you find a healthy place to grow. Sometimes the bride is wrong but don’t give up. Reach out. To us, if there’s no one local for you.
To our many many friends across our city, country and world who continue to guide the Bride, well done. Eyes Up. We are so ridiculously happy to be in this with you. ❤️