Dawson's 2 year letter; the things I've learned
.Dawson's 2 year letterShare.. Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 8:47pm | Edit Note | Delete
March 26, 2010
Where do I start? My sweet baby boy just turned 2. And after re-reading the “diary” of stories I had for him during his first year of life, I am again blessed to be a parent, I am honored that God let me keep my son, and I am amazed that God continues to let me see, and be part of, the miracles and blessings God needed my son for.
Dawson, you don’t realize the story your life has played out yet. You don’t know how grateful I am that God spared your life, but I want to remind you, that you are special. You are a gift, and from the beginning of your life, God continues to show me how He is at work in your life. Already, before this, we have seen God’s work:
1. That after showing NO signs of Hydrocephalus, our pediatrician wanted to just make sure, and sent us to PCH, thus discovering the life-threatening diagnosis of HC.
2. We were told you may not walk, you may not talk. That you wouldn’t be kept from playing like other 5 year old boys on the playground, but you probably wouldn’t have the mental capabilities. We have a son, who has met all physical and developmental milestones from the beginning. J
3. God worked through Carole and how she prays for you. I still don’t know why she has a “special prayer language” for just you, but she did the day of your surgery, and her influence changed what I know about how the Holy Spirit works, if He chooses to. Carole believed, as do I, that God rescued you for a special purpose. There is a missionary calling, or something great that God saved you for. I think it was partly to teach me. I have learned things from your life, Dawson, that I would have never learned had you, specifically, not been my son. Particularly, that if we are not careful, Fear can paralyze us, and we can “protect” ourselves (or our children) right out of our callings. I never want to hinder God using our family, simply because I am afraid of what He may need you or I to do.
4. Last year, your pediatrician and her husband joined our church and were baptized. Our relationship with them changed.
Then, this week, 3 days before your birthday, you had a terrible fall. I was sitting at the kitchen table, and you were upset that I wasn’t giving you another snack of frosted graham cracker. J You do love to eat, but it was 4:30, close to dinner time, I was on the phone talking to dad, who had been at the hospital all day. I was filling in report cards. Out of my perifirial vision, you were walking over to me, and looked as though you were going to put your head on my lap, but instead, you simply mis-judged or something. You fell directly to the floor, your head taking the brunt on the fall, precisely on your shunt.
“Dawson?” I said. No answer. I jumped from my chair, waiting to hear the gasp of pain when a child has hurt themselves, and it didn’t come. “Dawson?” I rolled you over and you had curled into a “C” shape with your body, your face had pinched up, like you were desperately trying to cry or figure out how to talk, but your brain wouldn’t let you. Your lips were blue. I picked you up and saw your eyes rolling in the back of your head. “Dawson’s not breathing….I need you home now!” I yelled to your dad on the phone as I ran across the street to our neighbors the Garrisons.
I banged on their door, about 10 seconds had gone by probably. I didn’t wait at home, as I knew Jack was home today, and he is a fireman. He would know more about how to save you than I would. Laurie answered the door, and Jack came running down the stairs, skipping 3 or 4 at a time. “He’s not breathing. I need your help.” At this time, I handed you over to Jack and saw your eyes had come back to me. You were shocked, quiet, but breathing. I called Dad to tell him.
During the last few minutes, our neighbor, Thanou was home. Dad called him and said, “run to my house, Dawson’s not breathing.” Megan Garrison had run over to watch TV with your sisters and both Thanou and his wife Allison, had arrived on the scene at the Garrrisons. After Jack examined you a bit, he said, “I’m going to call 911, which hospital would you like to go to?” I knew Phx. Children’s would have to examine your shunt and brain, so we called.
A few minutes later, 911 arrived. The paramedics started asking questions, and examining you. The whole time, you sat on Jack’s lap, staring. I had your blankie, “Nee-nee” and was right next to you, but you didn’t move. It was though you had just been awakened in the middle of the night, wondering what was going on. Vanessa, began asking us more questions, before we loaded up into the ambulance for the non-siren ride to PCH. Thanou and Allison took your sisters to their house. Megan stayed home from her brothers baseball game in case they needed you too.
As we rode, it began to dawn on me, I had learned head trauma, in our far-away area, is typically flown by helicopter. My friend from school told me PCH was the closest child head trauma hospital, and it’s too far to drive, you must fly, to the bill of $18,000. However, I think because God allowed you to regain consciousness, we were able to take the truck. Vanessa and I began to talk as she hooked a line up to you and you fell asleep.
As I began to talk with Vanessa, I said, “The people were there, because we have made a point to know our neighbors”. She said, “Well, you aren’t from here. Where’d you grow up?” This conversation led into neighborhood ministry, why all the people were at the Garrison’s house, feeling included in a church of thousands, and did I know the Frank and Haley families. Since I did, we immediately began sharing how we knew each of them. Vanessa shared how she was looking for a church home, wanted to belong, and by the time we pulled into PCH, she said, “Would it be terrible unprofessional of me to give you my name and number and have someone call me? I love the idea of knowing my neighbors and having a small group to attend to.” As she wrote her information on the back of a bandage package.
We headed into the hospital, and your neurosurgeon, Dr. Manwaring, was the doctor on call. He looked over your CT scan, we had an X-ray on your shunt, and finally between 6:30 and 7:30 you began to talk and act silly again. We were able to take you home around 9:00, with everything looking physically fine.
The amazing part in all of this, is that there are so many branches to your story, so many ways God continues to work through you. The crazy part is, He continues to let us see so many of these workings:
1. At 4:30, the time you fell, Carole prayed for you, because God put you in her mind. She wrote the time in her journal for “some reason”. At 6:30, when she received a text from Aunt Erika, she knew why God had put you in her mind, but Erika had told her you fell at 4:00. Carole excused herself from dinner at 6:30, and began praying in her special prayer language for your safety. She wondered why “God had been late though, in bringing you to her mind”, until Erika was able to tell her, “no, Dawson fell at 4:30, the ambulance was there by 5.” God is never late.
2. Vanessa was searching for a church. She was on duty that day. If you hadn’t stopped breathing or had a seizure, we wouldn’t have called 911. If anyone else had read your papers, they would have flown you, not driven you to PCH. Even Vanessa was second guessing herself, but God needed her and I to talk.
3. The Garrisons. We’ve been praying for them for 3 years. Our relationship with them has changed now, and we continue to pray that God will bring them into a relationship with Him.
4. As I am retelling the weeks events and your life to our small group, Brent, who Thanou met 4 days ago, was at our small group. He is agnostic, and that night stayed 4 hours longer to ask about his salvation and Jesus.
5. 3 Days later, our neighbor, Sergio, who is your age, also fell. He cut open his head, requiring stitches, and called 911. We already knew the EMT team, I was able to see Vanessa again, and give peace to a neighbor who needed it.
Dawson, Carole said it this week, but I believe it to be true. God has a special calling on your life. I found that to be true early on in your first year. But it is clear to me, that God is not waiting for you to be older. He is using you now, and Dad and I better be ready, as God is using you, in your small, active, loud, snuggly, pigeon-toed mop headed body.
As Olivia woke Tuesday morning, the first thing she asked was, “Is Dawson ok? Is he at home?” Your sisters love our “D-man”, and we are so glad to live life with you,
Never under-estimate how God is going to use you. I am changed because of the influence you have had on my life. I see God working. I am more aware of the Spirit. I am convinced that more people will come to know Jesus because God allowed your life to be spared 2 years ago. We serve a great God, and we are blessed to be your parents.
Love you baby,
Mommy
March 26, 2010
Where do I start? My sweet baby boy just turned 2. And after re-reading the “diary” of stories I had for him during his first year of life, I am again blessed to be a parent, I am honored that God let me keep my son, and I am amazed that God continues to let me see, and be part of, the miracles and blessings God needed my son for.
Dawson, you don’t realize the story your life has played out yet. You don’t know how grateful I am that God spared your life, but I want to remind you, that you are special. You are a gift, and from the beginning of your life, God continues to show me how He is at work in your life. Already, before this, we have seen God’s work:
1. That after showing NO signs of Hydrocephalus, our pediatrician wanted to just make sure, and sent us to PCH, thus discovering the life-threatening diagnosis of HC.
2. We were told you may not walk, you may not talk. That you wouldn’t be kept from playing like other 5 year old boys on the playground, but you probably wouldn’t have the mental capabilities. We have a son, who has met all physical and developmental milestones from the beginning. J
3. God worked through Carole and how she prays for you. I still don’t know why she has a “special prayer language” for just you, but she did the day of your surgery, and her influence changed what I know about how the Holy Spirit works, if He chooses to. Carole believed, as do I, that God rescued you for a special purpose. There is a missionary calling, or something great that God saved you for. I think it was partly to teach me. I have learned things from your life, Dawson, that I would have never learned had you, specifically, not been my son. Particularly, that if we are not careful, Fear can paralyze us, and we can “protect” ourselves (or our children) right out of our callings. I never want to hinder God using our family, simply because I am afraid of what He may need you or I to do.
4. Last year, your pediatrician and her husband joined our church and were baptized. Our relationship with them changed.
Then, this week, 3 days before your birthday, you had a terrible fall. I was sitting at the kitchen table, and you were upset that I wasn’t giving you another snack of frosted graham cracker. J You do love to eat, but it was 4:30, close to dinner time, I was on the phone talking to dad, who had been at the hospital all day. I was filling in report cards. Out of my perifirial vision, you were walking over to me, and looked as though you were going to put your head on my lap, but instead, you simply mis-judged or something. You fell directly to the floor, your head taking the brunt on the fall, precisely on your shunt.
“Dawson?” I said. No answer. I jumped from my chair, waiting to hear the gasp of pain when a child has hurt themselves, and it didn’t come. “Dawson?” I rolled you over and you had curled into a “C” shape with your body, your face had pinched up, like you were desperately trying to cry or figure out how to talk, but your brain wouldn’t let you. Your lips were blue. I picked you up and saw your eyes rolling in the back of your head. “Dawson’s not breathing….I need you home now!” I yelled to your dad on the phone as I ran across the street to our neighbors the Garrisons.
I banged on their door, about 10 seconds had gone by probably. I didn’t wait at home, as I knew Jack was home today, and he is a fireman. He would know more about how to save you than I would. Laurie answered the door, and Jack came running down the stairs, skipping 3 or 4 at a time. “He’s not breathing. I need your help.” At this time, I handed you over to Jack and saw your eyes had come back to me. You were shocked, quiet, but breathing. I called Dad to tell him.
During the last few minutes, our neighbor, Thanou was home. Dad called him and said, “run to my house, Dawson’s not breathing.” Megan Garrison had run over to watch TV with your sisters and both Thanou and his wife Allison, had arrived on the scene at the Garrrisons. After Jack examined you a bit, he said, “I’m going to call 911, which hospital would you like to go to?” I knew Phx. Children’s would have to examine your shunt and brain, so we called.
A few minutes later, 911 arrived. The paramedics started asking questions, and examining you. The whole time, you sat on Jack’s lap, staring. I had your blankie, “Nee-nee” and was right next to you, but you didn’t move. It was though you had just been awakened in the middle of the night, wondering what was going on. Vanessa, began asking us more questions, before we loaded up into the ambulance for the non-siren ride to PCH. Thanou and Allison took your sisters to their house. Megan stayed home from her brothers baseball game in case they needed you too.
As we rode, it began to dawn on me, I had learned head trauma, in our far-away area, is typically flown by helicopter. My friend from school told me PCH was the closest child head trauma hospital, and it’s too far to drive, you must fly, to the bill of $18,000. However, I think because God allowed you to regain consciousness, we were able to take the truck. Vanessa and I began to talk as she hooked a line up to you and you fell asleep.
As I began to talk with Vanessa, I said, “The people were there, because we have made a point to know our neighbors”. She said, “Well, you aren’t from here. Where’d you grow up?” This conversation led into neighborhood ministry, why all the people were at the Garrison’s house, feeling included in a church of thousands, and did I know the Frank and Haley families. Since I did, we immediately began sharing how we knew each of them. Vanessa shared how she was looking for a church home, wanted to belong, and by the time we pulled into PCH, she said, “Would it be terrible unprofessional of me to give you my name and number and have someone call me? I love the idea of knowing my neighbors and having a small group to attend to.” As she wrote her information on the back of a bandage package.
We headed into the hospital, and your neurosurgeon, Dr. Manwaring, was the doctor on call. He looked over your CT scan, we had an X-ray on your shunt, and finally between 6:30 and 7:30 you began to talk and act silly again. We were able to take you home around 9:00, with everything looking physically fine.
The amazing part in all of this, is that there are so many branches to your story, so many ways God continues to work through you. The crazy part is, He continues to let us see so many of these workings:
1. At 4:30, the time you fell, Carole prayed for you, because God put you in her mind. She wrote the time in her journal for “some reason”. At 6:30, when she received a text from Aunt Erika, she knew why God had put you in her mind, but Erika had told her you fell at 4:00. Carole excused herself from dinner at 6:30, and began praying in her special prayer language for your safety. She wondered why “God had been late though, in bringing you to her mind”, until Erika was able to tell her, “no, Dawson fell at 4:30, the ambulance was there by 5.” God is never late.
2. Vanessa was searching for a church. She was on duty that day. If you hadn’t stopped breathing or had a seizure, we wouldn’t have called 911. If anyone else had read your papers, they would have flown you, not driven you to PCH. Even Vanessa was second guessing herself, but God needed her and I to talk.
3. The Garrisons. We’ve been praying for them for 3 years. Our relationship with them has changed now, and we continue to pray that God will bring them into a relationship with Him.
4. As I am retelling the weeks events and your life to our small group, Brent, who Thanou met 4 days ago, was at our small group. He is agnostic, and that night stayed 4 hours longer to ask about his salvation and Jesus.
5. 3 Days later, our neighbor, Sergio, who is your age, also fell. He cut open his head, requiring stitches, and called 911. We already knew the EMT team, I was able to see Vanessa again, and give peace to a neighbor who needed it.
Dawson, Carole said it this week, but I believe it to be true. God has a special calling on your life. I found that to be true early on in your first year. But it is clear to me, that God is not waiting for you to be older. He is using you now, and Dad and I better be ready, as God is using you, in your small, active, loud, snuggly, pigeon-toed mop headed body.
As Olivia woke Tuesday morning, the first thing she asked was, “Is Dawson ok? Is he at home?” Your sisters love our “D-man”, and we are so glad to live life with you,
Never under-estimate how God is going to use you. I am changed because of the influence you have had on my life. I see God working. I am more aware of the Spirit. I am convinced that more people will come to know Jesus because God allowed your life to be spared 2 years ago. We serve a great God, and we are blessed to be your parents.
Love you baby,
Mommy
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