Dawson's 1st Annual Check up
Monday, May 4, 2009 at 9:29pm | Edit Note | Delete
Well, 13 months after Dawson was relased from Phx. Children's hospital for fluid on his brain and having a medical shunt put into his brain, Dawson was released again; this time: the Physcial Therapist. This was something we were expecting, but not counting on completely, just in case. The Therapist watched him play, walk, color with a pen, stack blocks, etc. She was really glad that all of his "milestones" were within 3 to 4 weeks of his actual age, not his "premature" age. She gave alot of credit to his having 2 big sisters, as he is real observant and skilled in his "modeling" of fine motor skills and his "fearlessness" in climbing on top of things.
Last time we visited her, she had said he would probably be checked out of her program, so I was assuming that meant we were on our own. (With regular pediatrician visits and annual neurosurgeon visits). However, that is not completely the case. Now that his physical growth is on the chart, on progress, we move onto the next step in the program, where he will begin seeing another therapist in 6 months. She will watch how his physical movement coincides with his speech. Naturally, since he is just now learning to walk, speech is partly on hold for him, cause they are 2 different types of learning. However, in another 6-8 months, his walking should become more natural so that his speech becomes more in the forefront in learning. So, that is where we are, in the medical sense.
In the God sense, we continue to thank God for each day we have with our children. Lately, I have been taking the Beth Moore study on Esther. One of the weeks talked about breaking free from your fears, and imagining how much God can use you if you don't live just in the perameters of those fears. Don't live so that the Devil can continuously bring up the "what if's" of your fears, paralyzing you into a life instead of growing in one. One of the things that stuck in my mind was the quote, "Some of us protect ourselves right out of our calling. We are so concerned with self preservation that we miss some of the greatest things God may have in store for us." Before this past year with Dawson, I had never come face to face with the fact that one of my children could die. This was a thought the day Olivia was born, but never so "in my face" as it was with Dawson and his diagnosis. Even though each month goes by with praises from Doctors and medical books, I still remember the words, "you son may not talk, he may not walk. He'll be allowed to play with other boys, but we aren't sure he'll have the mental capabilities. " Once you have a few minutes with our son, you'll know that God has done an amazing thing in him. But that doesn't erase the fact that I let this whole past year be a year of strengthening me and trying not to be afraid about "the next time" , being afraid of when and what if we do hit a wall. This past year has been alot of that. Battling the devil in knowing that if something goes wrong with him, than God will take care of him. Battling the thought that I have enough "knowledge" about Dawson's condition that we'd get him to the right people in the right amount of time, and revisiting some of those same places of the hospital where he was first diagnosed and I was all alone. Questioning ourselves at 2 a.m. wondering if this is just a cold or teeth fever or a "fever" that needs help. I just could not wrap my brain around the fact that I'll never stop being fearful that something could happen to any of my 3 babies.
But something else has come out of this past year too. On the other side, I know compassion for a mother's fears like I have never known before. I understand how you feel when the medical world tells you the worst, but God can do more. My heart sickens for people who spend hours in the hospital with their loved one and the unknown....let alone months. And I think this has all been part of God's plan for me. Oh, I still hope I never come face to face with my biggest fear, but I know the life of my children won't be paralyzed because I am too afiraid of what God has in store for them to let them try. Or myself. Each of my children is so special and unique. They have such quirky personalities and their own heart for our family and for God, that I can't wait to see where God takes them. But where God takes them is also part of my fears. However, this past year, I have learned that whatever God has in store for us, I can't refuse it simply because of my own self-preservation. My fear of the unknown for them or me. For if I shelter myself into my corner of safety and don't give God the chance to grow or change me....than how can I help others who may be facing my same fears, and how can I teach my children that our God is a God who can always be trusted....even when you are most afraid that you won't like what He's training you for?
As always, we know that this year was achieved by God's work through several people in the medical world, but many many more crucial people who were prayer warriors for him and for our family. Thank you, thank you for checking on us, for asking about us, and for your prayers on behalf of all of us.
Well, 13 months after Dawson was relased from Phx. Children's hospital for fluid on his brain and having a medical shunt put into his brain, Dawson was released again; this time: the Physcial Therapist. This was something we were expecting, but not counting on completely, just in case. The Therapist watched him play, walk, color with a pen, stack blocks, etc. She was really glad that all of his "milestones" were within 3 to 4 weeks of his actual age, not his "premature" age. She gave alot of credit to his having 2 big sisters, as he is real observant and skilled in his "modeling" of fine motor skills and his "fearlessness" in climbing on top of things.
Last time we visited her, she had said he would probably be checked out of her program, so I was assuming that meant we were on our own. (With regular pediatrician visits and annual neurosurgeon visits). However, that is not completely the case. Now that his physical growth is on the chart, on progress, we move onto the next step in the program, where he will begin seeing another therapist in 6 months. She will watch how his physical movement coincides with his speech. Naturally, since he is just now learning to walk, speech is partly on hold for him, cause they are 2 different types of learning. However, in another 6-8 months, his walking should become more natural so that his speech becomes more in the forefront in learning. So, that is where we are, in the medical sense.
In the God sense, we continue to thank God for each day we have with our children. Lately, I have been taking the Beth Moore study on Esther. One of the weeks talked about breaking free from your fears, and imagining how much God can use you if you don't live just in the perameters of those fears. Don't live so that the Devil can continuously bring up the "what if's" of your fears, paralyzing you into a life instead of growing in one. One of the things that stuck in my mind was the quote, "Some of us protect ourselves right out of our calling. We are so concerned with self preservation that we miss some of the greatest things God may have in store for us." Before this past year with Dawson, I had never come face to face with the fact that one of my children could die. This was a thought the day Olivia was born, but never so "in my face" as it was with Dawson and his diagnosis. Even though each month goes by with praises from Doctors and medical books, I still remember the words, "you son may not talk, he may not walk. He'll be allowed to play with other boys, but we aren't sure he'll have the mental capabilities. " Once you have a few minutes with our son, you'll know that God has done an amazing thing in him. But that doesn't erase the fact that I let this whole past year be a year of strengthening me and trying not to be afraid about "the next time" , being afraid of when and what if we do hit a wall. This past year has been alot of that. Battling the devil in knowing that if something goes wrong with him, than God will take care of him. Battling the thought that I have enough "knowledge" about Dawson's condition that we'd get him to the right people in the right amount of time, and revisiting some of those same places of the hospital where he was first diagnosed and I was all alone. Questioning ourselves at 2 a.m. wondering if this is just a cold or teeth fever or a "fever" that needs help. I just could not wrap my brain around the fact that I'll never stop being fearful that something could happen to any of my 3 babies.
But something else has come out of this past year too. On the other side, I know compassion for a mother's fears like I have never known before. I understand how you feel when the medical world tells you the worst, but God can do more. My heart sickens for people who spend hours in the hospital with their loved one and the unknown....let alone months. And I think this has all been part of God's plan for me. Oh, I still hope I never come face to face with my biggest fear, but I know the life of my children won't be paralyzed because I am too afiraid of what God has in store for them to let them try. Or myself. Each of my children is so special and unique. They have such quirky personalities and their own heart for our family and for God, that I can't wait to see where God takes them. But where God takes them is also part of my fears. However, this past year, I have learned that whatever God has in store for us, I can't refuse it simply because of my own self-preservation. My fear of the unknown for them or me. For if I shelter myself into my corner of safety and don't give God the chance to grow or change me....than how can I help others who may be facing my same fears, and how can I teach my children that our God is a God who can always be trusted....even when you are most afraid that you won't like what He's training you for?
As always, we know that this year was achieved by God's work through several people in the medical world, but many many more crucial people who were prayer warriors for him and for our family. Thank you, thank you for checking on us, for asking about us, and for your prayers on behalf of all of us.
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